What Dreams May Come
by blackbubbledancer
Summary: After living in the Kuchiki house for a short time what dreams do manifest them selfs underneath all the smiles?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer, I do not own bleach**

**And a forewarning this is a darker story, But! It has a happier ending .**

**As always happy reading and enjoy **

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I never thought it would end like this. One of us is going to die. Time does not always heal and sometimes it leaves scabs that still bleed. That's all we were together scabs that never healed. This time we had finally ripped each other open for the last time. He couldn't look at me anymore and I hated him more than anyone in the world. I'm sure my Onee-san had good intentions for asking him to take me in but if she knew the end result when she passed on she would have never asked him to find me. So he could live in peace and me as I was.

Tonight harsh bitter words were said and it was a long time coming. I don't think either of us cared what the outcome would be.

"Why can't you just let her die" I screamed at him in disdain " It's been how many years."

"You ungrateful bitch." Hate clear in his eyes.

"When you say that do you see her?" I couldn't keep the wicked laughter inside.

"No" his voice was fare to menacing now "I see a piece of trash I should have discarded years ago."

"Breaking oaths hurt doesn't it." I threw my head back and laughed "and to think your tore your family's heart out for her . . . Was she worth it?"

The words hit him and he almost snarled "How does it feel to know the only reason I kept you alive is because you looked like her."

"Like I should pity your pathetic feelings"

"He grinned darkly "what was it like constantly feel the need to be what she was? To have what she had? Knowing you would never be anywhere near good enough to have any of it. I see it in your eyes every time you look at me. "

"I see how sick I make you feel when you look at me every time I pass you in the hall in the manor. Don't you wish she were just a little stronger a little more like me ? If she were she would still be alive, think on that one"

His smile now grew even darker "Like I should have broken you years ago so I could have gotten the best of both worlds."

My stomach rolled "Fuck you." The words spilled like bile through my lips.

I felt something sharp connect with my face and I hit a wall hard and I slid to the ground. He was bleeding from his knuckles and I from my lip but I wasn't surprised.

"The great Kuchiki Taichou snapped." The words came out dripping with sarcasms and a wicked smile.

Kneeling on the ground now I licked the blood from my lip.

"Dear onii-san." The words came out in a syrupy sweet hateful tone. "Do you think this is what she would have looked like on the floor bleeding?"

Rage was blurring his vision now "Dear onee-san, does it horrify you that this is only the tip of what I can do to you?" He walked slowly towards me.

" Does it horrify you'll be seeing her face the entire time you do it. That is more than enough torture for me to die a happy woman knowing you'll forever see her face in so much agony by your hands because you can't separate us."

"She is dead already, with both of you gone my agony will be over and I will dead dogs lie." He laughed at the metaphor.

Within seconds I had Sode-no-shirayuki at his throat and I could feel Senbonzakura cutting into my skin. Then everything went black.

There was a shrill noise coming from somewhere when my eyes popped open my heart pounding in my chest . I could not stop the tears or the screaming that was coming from me.

I was alive, I heard a sob come again, I was really alive, he had not killed me.

The door crashed open and there was his large figure standing in the door way with Senbonzakura pulled.

Nothing was connecting in my twilight state and I watched him come towards me still not in my senses I scrambled backwards and fell off my bed plastering myself to the wall.

Nowhere near as brave as I was in the dream. I broke down and curled into a sobbing shaking ball. He looked sadden as it hit him what the nightmare was about .Quickly he dropped his zanpakuto and slowly approached me.

"Rukia." The voice came out in a soft whisper.

"Rukia, please." His voice was now pleading for me to listen.

Inching closer his voice was calm but sad "Rukia." He repeated my name hopping to call me out of the twilight state.

Reaching out slowly he touched my knee gently.

I woke slowly out of the twilight but i was still hyperventilating this was my real Nii-sama not the monster in the dream, I wasn't the monster in the dream. Still shaking I let him pick me up and hold me in his arms rocking me back and forth.

"It's okay." He whispered in my ear over and over and over again.

"Being all of 20 and so young all I could whisper was "Please don't hate me." The tears started again.

"I could never" he held me closer. I swear I felt a tear roll down his cheek "I could never hate you"

Still shaking I could feel him kiss the top of my head. Someone had brought him something for me to drink. He tilted whatever it was to my lips and I drank slowly.

Stroking my hair gently he shushed me "Sleep easy Rukia , I will not let our monsters hurt you." That was the last thing I heard before I drifted off to sleep again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hmm , i didn't think i would add on to this but another idea rolled around and here it is **

**Hope you like it and as ever Happy reading and enjoy**

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The house was completely silent at this hour. He watched the clock creep towards three am and each tick of the minute hand seemed defening. It had been a week or two since Byakuya had gotten a good night's sleep. After the incident as the staff liked to call it with Rukia he had her room immediately moved next to his so he could hear every sound she made so he could be there if she needed him .

Her screams that night sounded as if death were going to take her right then and there and it still sent chills down his spine he had never heard a sound that frightened or desperate in his entire life . Watching her shiver in his arms uncontrollably made him feel helpless .When she was in that state all he could do was wait until she truly woke up . When she did all girl could do was sob over and over again that she was so sorry and cling onto him for dear life until she went back to sleep.

After the first nightmare she had, he sat on the floor with her in his arms all night afraid she would wake up again alone and frightened. Around dawn he finally put her back into her own bed and left a small stuffed bunny next to her in case she needed something to hold on to. She looked so small and helpless to him, she always looked small and helpless to him and it made him want to protect her all the more.

The morning after her first nightmare she held her head up high her back stiff , it was almost as if she did not want to appear weak , like she wanted to pretend the night had never happened . So he obeyed her and looked at her just as impassively as ever . They ate there meal in silence and they would get on with their day.

That night however her dreams came again only this time he did not bring his zanpactou with him, her screams were still violent and bone chilling but she didn't scramble to get away from him . He waited again patient and helpless until she fully woke up giving him a pathetic, defeated look. Never the less he would still hold her until the sobbing subsided to hick ups and the hick ups subsided to sleep.

After the second night of this he went to squad four to speak with Unahanna Taichou to see if she had something that would sooth rukia's mind of the night terrors and let her sleep peacefully. He had the ability to make something to help her go back to sleep but he knew first hand it would not ease the dreams that could come. He was so grateful when she came back with a bottle of clear liquid , all he had to do was put a small drop in her tea before she went to sleep and it would calm her and lull her into sleep .

he knew she was to proud to show her weakness's and would never take it if he gave it to her directly. He knew she never wanted to appear weak in front of him, he had heard her pray in the family temple to give her strength to make his family proud of her of her . So before she went to bed he would order her to have tea with him he knew he was bullying her but every night since then he would put a drop into her tea and would sit and watch her drink it until it was gone. Then he would watch her skitter from the room after she was done with her eyes down cast.

It killed him, he knew most people feared him, some were downright terrified of him but they did not matter to him one bit. However to know that he terrified Rukia so much so she could not sleep peacefully made his heart break , this is not what Hisanna would have wanted for her sister.

It was now three am and the clock chimed out three note's , so fare she had slept soundlessly throughout the night but to ease his mind he went to check on her one more time. He had been doing this since it had all began every other hour he would check to make sure she was sound that the medicine was working.

Opening the door quietly he stood there in the door frame and just watched her still body, listening to little puffs of air come in and out as she breathed. She clutched tightly to the little bunny that she has been so fond of even before she came to live with him . It was threadbare and looked like she had , had it long before she come to the sereti so he let her keep it. He was happier she looked peaceful tonight she had not been tossing and turning.

Closing the door, it was finally his time to sleep if she hadn't woken up before three am he knew she wouldn't. Falling into his own bed all he could think about was his beautiful Hisanna , the light of his life she was gone and it was as if the color in his life had been dimmed . What he wouldn't give to have her here with him right now. Help him understand to give him strength that he wasn't sure he had to help him live again.

It angered him some days he had Rukia, she was a little spark of life in his grey world. She made him remember he could not stay dead for ever no matter how much he wanted to. The very sight of Rukias smile some days made him ill because she could make him feel again.

He knew he took it out on her and some days his anger was so all consuming that he didn't care who he hurt or who he lashed out on. In the back of his mind he knew Rukia paid the price for this and he knew it was unfair to her. She didn't know why her Nii-sama couldn't stand her some days but she knew he did, and day by day he watched her shrink away. It had become a cycle now that had gone on for such a long time it was almost impossible to stop.

In knowing this he had a good feeling he was the cause of her terror and her unease he was the reason she couldn't sleep at night. Never in his life did he ever dream he could be such a cold hearted bastard. What hurt the most was even though he had shunned her and scorned her when he held her at night she would cling on to whatever little crumbs of kindness and affections he gave her.

Taking a deep breath trying to calm himself he closed his eyes and hopped sleep would come to him tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

The dream always started the same for him . He would be kneeling in front of his shrine the door closed because some days he was just unable to open it because seeing her picture sitting in it sent a stabbing pain of lose surging through him. It was enough to cripple him if he was a weaker man however, he would either open it and leave a lily or leave it closed and leave a lily by the door.

Tonight it had started the same as they always did he was kneeling with the door closed, he did not want to open it but something in his gut told him to. Closing his eyes he slowly opened the door expecting to see Hisanna picture sitting on its self waiting to show him how much he lost. Pausing with his eyes shut for a moment after the door was open he had to brace himself for the impact, because there were always varying degrees' of pain when he looked at her picture. This night however, was different and what he saw made him sink further into the ground and put his hands on the floor to support him as the wind got knocked out of him.

Looking up again he fought a wild sense of panic , instead of just one picture sitting on the shelve there were two. His bigger one of Hisanna and a smaller one of Rukia's energetically smiling face. Horror hit him hard and fast

"No!" his mind screamed. "

Refraining himself he tryed to regain control, but was failing miserably. His hands were shaking and his heart was beating franticly.

"Not her. " he thought as pain ripped through him . It was Rukia's little picture that he was looking at, not Hisannas, and a different kind pain ripped through him . He thought it would be the same as looking at his wife because they looked the same . He would just be looking at a small picture of Hisanna, but that was not the case.

When he looked at the small girls pictures he swore he could hear her happy little laugh, and a vision of she and Renji joking around in his office when they did not think his was listening came into his mind . He franticly tried to block it out with Hisana's calm sweet smile, but could not manage to. He could see his wife's face, but he still heard Rukia's happy laugh.

Standing quickly he left the room without even bothering to close the door of the cupboard the flowers he was going to leave still in hand. After exiting the house he shunpoed to his family's cemetery because someone had to be playing a joke on him he had to see for himself that the small girl was really dead . Opening the gate he wound him way through the maze like path that grown over the past as flames of life were extinguished. His eyes darted quickly around the newer graves. He found his mother, father , Hisanna, and next to her was Rukia's name with fresh flowers still on a grey little plaque .

Unable to breath he fell to his knees in front of her tomb . This wasn't supposed to happen the little girl was too strong to have left this world yet. She had lasted so many years alone in the rukon districts all alone, and she couldn't last a few years here ware it was supposed to be safe. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes but did not care

He ran his hand over the ruff grey stone plaque it did not look right, it was not right for her with all of her exuberance that she had shown in life she deserved more than just a grey slab.

Kneeling at the foot of her grave he dropped he head because at that moment the world felt too heavy for him to even hold himself up. He had never pondered what life without her would be like because she was always there, she was a permanent fixture in his day. She was there when he started his day in the morning and when he had ended it in the evening, she was there, always.

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His ambient clock woke him a little before dawn like it always did , but all he did was shift slightly. He felt heavy his mind still playing back the dream in slow motion. How did he do it, how did he take life for granted? This was not the code he was taught to live by. He was taught to contemplate death, but only to make life that much more important. Shifting again on this side he rubbed his face further waking up. He thought his life was over when Hisanna died and he had forgot how to live.

As he got out of bed he looked at his feet and felt the solid ground beneath them . This was life, when he was awake he had never paid much attention to the floor or even his feet. Looking around the room it felt like for the first time in a long time things where solid not like the dreamscape he had lived in for so long. How much of life had he really missed while he wanted to be dead?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer , I do not own bleach!**

**And as ever happy reading and enjoy!**

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Night after night he would have her sit down and have tea with him before they both went to bed. The fist night he had made this odd request she was scared half out of her whit's he had never said more than two words to her in a day if that, and now he wanted to have tea with her.

Rukia could not face this man alone, she would need a reinforcement something to calm her to keep her from shaking in his presence. She always had shaken through dinner she could not help it .He sat there with his back perfectly straight his eyes perfectly empty. It made him feel big and in turn that had made her feel so small and helpless . Just his mere presence in the same room made her want to crawl under the table because she knew she was not worthy to even be in the presence of such a man.

So every night she would arm herself with the things that gave her the most comfort , her Chappy pajama's and fluffy robe . They were by fare from "proper" night cloths , but for some reason the little white bunny against the pink background made her feel a little safer. That , and somehow her fluffy pink robe would protect her against whatever he was. Some nights when she felt particularly uneasy or had a bad day she would tuck her little thread bear Chappy plush into her pocket . It was just one more pathetic piece of her armor she knew, but if it could get her through tea without falling apart she would do whatever she could.

That very first night when he had came to her directly and told her she was to have tea with him at 9 pm right before bed time she just simply nodded managing to get out a

"Yes Nii-sama."

It came out no louder than a whisper and, thankfully he did not seem to notice because she was sure that he would correct her or give her one of the many disapproving looks he was so prone to give her if he had .

Above all else she was frightened of what he would say to her at this tea , if he talked to her it was never about something pleasant it was always a correction of a fault or something she could not help. Getting ready she was so scared that she came inches from vomiting it took everything she had not to, but if she had at least it would have been in the safety of her own room and if she cleaned it up fast and no one would know.

That night she took her time purposely trying to do everything slowly but these actions last for only a minute because she knew he was not a man that would accept lateness . He had made it clear in the beginning that his time was important and not to be wasted. She dressed quickly and ended up early , but she did not want to be early because if nothing else this house worked like a clock ,and tea would be served at 9 pm sharp not earlier ,and certainly not later or else the staff would suffer the wrath of their lord.

So she waited in her room hugging her stuffed bunny with everything she had. She was so afraid she started to cry little tears slipped down her cheeks. She did not know why she was crying she knew it would do her no good in the end and if he saw tear stains on her cheeks he would only think her weaker then she was, and then what would he think .

The soft knock on her door sounded like loud bangs as if the door would burst down but logically she knew it was Akira she knew the woman's soft voice any where telling her it was time for her to join there in lord for tea.

Walking down the hall she squared her shoulders and held her back just as stiff as he did , maybe , just maybe she could make she self look more respectable , more like him and he would approve . If nothing else it was another piece of armor she could wear if she showed cold indifference like he did he would think she cared just as much as he did , not one bit.

Much to her horror tea was served in the small 'family' dining room that had a door that could be closed, she was going to be trapped in a room alone with him , god this was going to be bad . Akira opened the sliding door and bowed low .

"My Lord, Mistress Rukia has come ."

He just simply nodded and gestured for Rukia to come into the small claustrophobic room . She did not sit until he gestured again to take a seat . There were no words only small hand gestures' instructing her on what to do. Ever so quietly and polity she kneeled on her mat with her eyes down cast.

"You can look up Rukia."

The words sounded more like a command then a concern so she looked up. He was over at the side board seeing this was an extremely odd sight indeed. Byakuya was making the tea himself it was a simple task but never in her existence at the manor has she seen him lift a finger to even remotely touch the tea unless the pot was made and set before him . So she continued to sit in silence and watched as he work efficiently. Taking the two cups in his hands he walked over and set one in front of her and the other in front of himself before settling himself on his own mat.

She couldn't help but look at the cup for more than just a moment. In the very back recesses of her mind she was waiting, waiting for whatever was to come, to come. When he said nothing she lifted her gaze from the steaming brown liquid and up to his chest. She could not look at his face because she did not want to see the expression or lack of one it always unnerved her.

He broke the silence " You may drink the tea you do not have to wait for me to take the first sip."

Silently she obeyed taking a large gulp wanting to get this over with as fast as possible and regretted that gulp immediately as the liquid scalded her throat. Trying to appear like nothing happened she tried to covertly cover a gacking sound as her throat continued to burn.

She couldn't help but hear amusement in his voice as he spoke.

" I know this is quite odd , but I thought it would be good if we spent a little time together in the evenings seeing as we seldom cross paths."

The words came out very matter of fact.

"It is an honor to spend time with you Nii-sama." her words came out in almost a whisper.

He gave her a queer look as she said this but continued to speak.

" I do hope your day found you well."

The conversation was strained at best

She quickly and politely sipped the tea until it was gone and stifled a little yawn as she reached the bottom of her cup .She hadn't realized how tired she was but perhaps the day was catching up to her

After a few more yawns he released her to go to bed if she wished. Thanking him sleepily she bowed and left the little room. Upon entering her room she didn't even remember her head hitting her pillow before she was asleep.

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**Please Read and Review and tell me what you think . Feed back is always a good thing :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okey, so this is a ****lot**** different style than the last chapter about Rukia because I wanted to give it the true cryptic feeling of a dream, and please don't be too harsh about the I pod and song it sort of fell in there . **

**As well these chapters are going to be shorter because they are only dreams that they are having there isn't any real interaction between the two yet . So hang in there the chapters will start getting longer soon.**

**As ever I hope you enjoy.**

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Rukia had a purple I pod that she had obtained from the human world , it was the most ingenious invention she had ever found . She could finally fill the silence that suffocated the manor at any time of day or night. She was tired so the silence should not have mattered ,but she still plugged in the ear buds and pressed play and a song came blaring out.

" _when the dark of the night, comes around that's the time, that the animal comes alive, looking for something wild_."

The bass was pulsating in her ears trying to drown out all thought and it came close, so close ,so she turned the sound up and closed her eyes. It should not make sense that the loud noise would put her to sleep but the bass appeared to keep up with the speed of her thoughts and sync them so they weren't bouncing around her head madly and keeping her up.

"_there place I know if your looking for show ,where they go hard core and there's glitter on the floor, . . . . . ."_

Her mind was drifting when she was listing to the last stanza.

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She saw sheets of falling iridescent glitter. It felt like snow falling but lighter and brighter like there was a sun shining from somewhere around her. It was stunning, but the light dimmed and started to drown out color. So instead of the brilliant blue's, green's and yellows the dust slowly started to turn pink, a soft iridescent pink. The fine glitter snow that had been falling started to get bigger and turn into sharp pink crystal flakes.

They shined beautifully in the graying light it was a magical sight of a world blanketed by nothing but the two simple colors . Looking down at her feet she wanted to see how much of the stuff had accrued at her feet where she was standing. Expecting to see flaky drifts of pink , but instead to her surprise there was a thick slush of sharp crimson shrapnel instead . Tilting her head to the side she felt something drip from her face to her hand , looking down she saw crimson rivulets were running down her arms to her hands and dripping into the sludge that was mixing and congealing around her .

At further inspection some of the larger flakes had gotten stuck in her arms and the lighter ones were running scratches along her skin causing her to bleed. She would scream but she was feeling no pain so she just stared as the red dripped from the tips of her fingers to the ground.

Silent tears started to flow down her cheeks even though there was no pain coming from her physical body there was an incredible amount coming from inside her heart. Dropping to her knee's from the over whelming sensation she heard the shards of flakes shred the skin of her knee's, but she still didn't feel a thing.

Kneeling in the fusing elements she stared blankly into the haze not sure what she was hoping to find or if she was going to find anything. Slowly shapes started to form and become one in the shape of a human, an actual living being that was with her in this strange world. She was not sure she wanted the figure to come into focus though because she didn't think she could handl seeing someone that was mirroring an image of her with shrapnel in their skin.

Her fascination got the better of her so she stayed there ever so silently watching the figure take on more of a shape as it walked towards her. She couldn't tell if she was the one moving or it was but it was coming into focus. There was no wind but she saw the white of a captains haori billowing allowing the black shinigami robes to show through. The person materialized slower then she would have liked, but there was a hand holding the hilt of a zanpakuto . Not just any zanpakuto but Sode-no-Shirayuki , Rukia could see her now stained tassel dangling in the none existent breeze. It was held up right, the hand had it placed mid sternum however, the zanpakuto had no blade much like Senbonzakura .

This confused Rukia ,while one hand was holding Sode-no-Shirayuki the other held a giant perfect pale pink snowflake like a peace offering. The figure started to materialize more and she could see the glistening of her Nii-sama's kenseikan his perfect frame fully materialized. There he stood flawlessly no blemishes no blood running over his body just perfect pale skin. His cool impassive face stared down at her.

"Cheir."

She watched in aww as the huge snow flake scattered into a million pieces blowing from his hand towards her. Holding her arms in front of her face she wasn't sure what good this was going to do but she did it anyway however, she felt no Impact from the impending blow. Instead in front of her on the ground was a pale pink hollow crystal heart that was growing redder as it absorbed the mess around Rukia until she was able to stand again.

She felt her knee's released from the cesspool that was keeping her stuck to the ground . Rising clumsily to her feet , uncertainty spread across her face.

"Why?"

She looked up at him silently begging him for an answer, but he gave her none he just stood there looking at her coolly.

He gestured to her feet where the fragile heart was now filled with the blood that had been holding her down. Bending down unsure of what was going to happen she picked up the heart , it was heavier then it looked . The heart was stable it did not have the imbalance of something that was filled with liquid. Taking a closer look she saw Sakura petals filling it . They were not normal petals though they were a part of Senbonzakura the tiny little petals where pieces of his blade. She suddenly felt so sad.

"But I have nothing to give you"

He started to walk towards her with his ever cool expression. Stopping when he was right in front of her he leaned over her kissed her forehead.

"Acceptance." Was the only word her spoke.

He walked passed her and she looked after him franticly.

"Do you want my acceptance?" she yelled after him "Are you telling me you accept me?" she paused as he walked further away . " I need to know?" she screamed after him in frustration.

" I need to know" she whispered to herself.

She looked down at the heart in her hands she felt a deep sadness. She had no idea what he wanted from her. He was fiercely protective of her through the actions that he had shown her but he never spoke a word of it.

It just didn't make any sense.

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**Love it? Hate it? Read and review and tell me how you like it opinions and idea's are always welcome and wanted .**


	6. Chapter 6

Some time had passed since Rukia had her nightmares but, Byakuya found that he still like to have his nightly tea with Rukia. She interested him when she talked she was so animated and had such a love of life that he had no seen anyone have in along wile. When she talked of things that made her happy she seemed to sparkle and gesticulate wildly most time she could barley sit still in her seat even though he knew that that she was self conscious in his presence she couldn't help it.

In the beginning it had bothered him that one person could hold much energy in them but, as the days passed and he sat there quietly listening to her he began to understand that she didn't do it to annoy any one she just did it because it was her.

After that night she had the horrible dream all he wanted to do was see her happy he never wanted to see that look of pure terror in her eyes . As he continued to get to know her he made a resolution to himself that he would do whatever he could to keep her from ever feeling that kind of pain or horror again.

It struck him as odd that it bothered him the nights she was quiet and somber. Those were nights he knew something had happened that had bothered or up set her. Some night she would tell him what had happened others she would not and would just stare into her tea cup. The nights she just looked into her tea cup he knew something particularly bad had happened and he couldn't help but poke around in his own uninterested way to find out why.

He would usually go to her captain first and coolly asked how she was progressing or if she was .When he dealt with Taichou Ukitaki he would come off and cool and somewhat unconcerned but , he was always polite and came off a cool and impassive to the older man only because he had too much respect for him . Usually she was distant when she had, had a hard time with her swordsmanship that day. It was the one thing that she had tried her hardest to become great at. He had learned that she had learned that it was what he was best at and all she wanted to do was please him.

So he surmised the days when that was the case. she did not want to talk about it because she did not wish to disappoint Byakuya. He understood this feeling all too well when he was younger he would do anything to prove himself to his Ojii-sama because his was the only opionion that mattered . His ojii-sama was his standard to live up to. Those days he would reminisce on how hard he would practice because he thought that was the only way he thought he would earn his ojii-sama's love. As well he wanted to prove that he was stronger than his father he wanted to make sure the old man knew that he would not die and let the Kuchiki clan disappear. As he got older his duty has become somewhat different and he couldn't give the old man what he wanted because Byakuya was not ready to move on. Besides he didn't feel right finding someone new when Rukia was still in the house. Perhaps when she left the house he would look again .Until then he would just have to make the old man wait and he would just have to endure his ojii-sama's disapproval.

When she came home on those nights he would remain as cool and impassive as he could so he could push her harder towards her goal. His reasoning was twofold the better she got would keep her safer when fighting and it made his heart swell with pride when he watched her succeed. So in his own way he would push it out of her the best way he knew how even if meant seeing her sad he knew the sadness would lift eventually and leave her stronger.

There were other nights however her sadness angered him , he was not angry with her but the people around her. She would never tell him but people actually picked on her for being small or making rank only because she was related to him. He watch her hold her back up straight and let them talk all they wanted she would not retaliate after they were done she would simply walk away. He had first heard that people would do this through ease dropping on Renji . Byakuya had to smirk some days the boy would be the best informant on what was going on in her life.

One afternoon he decided to follow her after she watched her walk across the street and get confronted by a group of people. He knew something was wrong when she straightened her back like he did. No one knew he was close enough to hear them but, he heard them taunt her. All the while she kept that hard cool expression her face showing how little it meant to her she just shrugged and walked away like their words didn't affect her. For some reason he didn't want her to take it like she did he wanted her to show what she was made of and defend herself but, he knew she never would because it would anger the family. After the taunting ended he followed her as she walked away safely out of ear shot and prying eyes and walk into a dead end street and cryed silently . He left her to herself as she cried he knew these hard lessons would make her stronger in her life so he would leave her be. It angered him none the less and made he want to go back and teach those boys a lesson in humility.

So those nights he would sit there with her and let her have her tea in near silence. She couldn't hide the frustration and pain from her face but he knew she would be damned if she would let him see her cry.

But those nights she was happy were the best for him she would talk of things that she had accomplished. Very rarely it would ever be her accomplishments in her kido work because she happed to be extremely talented in that. It was usually the nights when she had won a sparring match against someone .She would preen even though she didn't realize it and wait for him to give her a crumb of something that let her know that he knew what she did. He would just quietly nod and tell her to work harder.

He would also watch those nights she was excited it usually had to do with something his moronic lieutenant would do which in truth mildly amuse him too even though he disapproved of most of the things the boy did. Or he would listen to her go off on this bunny she loved so much he never did understand the fascination or love she had for this little inanimate object but if she loved it he would patiently listen to her prattle on.

In the end watching this girl brought out an onslaught of uneasy feelings for him. He had something in front of him that he truly had no idea how to deal with. It was like watching a foreign object walk around his house. He didn't know how to act or react to her, she wasn't his wife so he could not give her affection like he would have Hisanna . She was not one of his Aunts or his Grandmother he knew he couldn't treat her like. She sure wasn't one of his subordinates so he couldn't completely ignore her. She was a Rukia and for once he felt helpless and all he could do was quietly sit there and watch because she left him for a loss of words . He knew this hurt her as well ,but he was doing the best he knew how . He didn't know if this would ever change, for once he just didn't know.


	7. Chapter 7

Byakuya lie in bed staring at the Kenseikan that were setting on his bed side table. The moon light shining through crack of his screens leading into the back yard made the silver of the hair piece gleam . All he could do is look at them and think if all of it was worth it. It was amazing how much weight could be held in two pieces of metal .Some days it felt like the weight of the world was placed on his shoulders due to those two pieces of metal. He lie there ever so still and he could not look away because they were his burden to bear they were a symbol of what held the family together.

Tonight his family had chosen to have dinner with he and Rukia as ever it was a lavish occasion, aunts , uncles , cousins and of cores his little Rukia had all gathered for small talk and ever so polite gossip about the lesser ranks of the house as well as the lesser clans in their eyes. He sat at front of the table straight back and stoic directly across the table across from his Ojii-sama who was just as straight back and stoic as he was. They mirrored each other same scarf same gloves the only difference now was Byakuya wore those two pieces of metal in his hair. The two men had a quiet understanding of each other finally now having both knowing what it was like to be quiet protectors and silent guides of the family. . . The entire family he thought to himself including one little figure sitting in the center of the entropy.

The only truly silent member of the family amongst a glittering throng of silk , brocade, gold and jewels gossips. Even in the finery he had given her to stand out she never would even in the rich greens and gold kimono she had worn tonight she had been over looked. No one talked to her, she might as well have not been there at all. However to him she shown brighter then all of them and he wasn't sure if it was because she looked so much like Hisanna or the quiet grace that she had learned to show during these events.

It was his job to protect everyone in his family even the invisible ones god he did not want her to live in the shadows in a grey existence somewhere between living and dying slowly. He could see it in her eyes even though she shown brighter of them all in all of her calm her saw what it cost her to sit there between people who only acknowledged her to pass her food. He could protect her from the worst Hollow, arancar , menos ,but he couldn't protect her from her own family.

It was sad ,it was then that he truly felt the weight of his family, of the world because they all looked up to him expected things from him may it be to pay offs from debts, to arrange and consents for this that and the other thing. Then he looked down at this beautiful woman who expected nothing from him other than a roof over her head and food if she was lucky. It was a pain that stabbed him in the heart she didn't even expect a modicum of love or affection from him. He wanted to try to give it to her he wanted to give her a safe place a shelter a place that she didn't feel alone or frightened.

However tonight he knew he couldn't even give her that all he could do was watch and keep the peace amongst those who squabbled and in the glittering throng he watched her turn grey and slowly disappear with a smile on her face that she had been instructed to keep on. It angered him that she had to pay for his mistakes not even his mistakes for his love for his choices.

What amazed him was she sat there unlike her sister who would feign illness when they would gather Rukia would sit through it silently with a straight back a gentle smile and gracious manners that had been taught to her since she had moved into the manor. He had watched her through the years get quieter and quieter during these gatherings losing all signs of life. Sometimes she would not even look up from her plait .

He looked at the Kenseikan on the dresser and realized the more he learned about her through there nightly tea's the more he realized how much he neglected her for what he thought was the greater good. How good of a protector was he ? How good of a leader was he if he could not even take care of the simplest and sweetest of things.

The night was unusually bright the moon shown through the tree's giving everything a silver glow it was truly a beautiful night. The air was cool not cold just cool and it looked like there was a slight breeze because the branches of the trees were bent in the direction the wind would blow. How odd he thought to himself the leaves weren't moving he could hear no wind but the branches where still bent. Shrugging it off it almost seemed like a perfect night. Taking a deep breath and exhaling he stretched his shoulders out and smirked as he heard them pop. Was he really getting that old? This time he laughed out loud to himself. He wasn't old as a matter of fact age was pretty irrelevant here his bones were just loose because he was just shamefully out of practice he could live with that it only took a few weeks to remedy that.

He continued his nightly stroll through the tree's he looked up because everything was so bright he wondered if the sakura petals looked like they did during the day. Expecting to see a soft luminescent pink he was a bit surprised the flowers and leaves where shades of grey and black. Perhaps it was just the way the shadows surrounding them made them appear that color. Taking a good look around seeing how bright everything was perhaps this would be a good night to walk in his moon garden. It would probably look magnificent from the flowers to the rocks to the tree's and path everything was made to stand out in sharp contrast to the night. He also loved it because it was a maze that he could walk around and just get lost in his thoughts as he tried to make it to the center where there was a deep dark pond. There were eight entrances that lead the middle the challenge was they all crossed paths so you could get tangled in the paths.

As Byakuya moved towards his destination he heard rustling in the bushes curiously he looked down as he watched the black brush move then out popped two rabbits. Not quite so odd there were a few rabbits running around hear Rukia had a thing for them so he indulged her by letting her keep a few around the garden. However these rabbits made him do a double take and what he saw took him by surprise and he was not a man that was surprised easily. These rabbits were clear, completely see through as transparent as glass . The thought of glass rabbits moving made him stop in his tracks but after then ran passed him their little paw prints left white ice patches on the grass these rabbits weren't glass they were ice.

One of the rabbits paused and looked back at him for a long moment as if to question him as to why he was not in the hurry that they were. He watched as it twitched his little nose and turn to run after the other there little icy paw prints leaving a frozen path in their wake. Curiously Byakuya started to follow the trail of frozen paw prints to see were these little creatures were going in such a hurry to get to considering there was nothing in his garden that would even remotely pose a threat to them. As he followed the one set of paw prints he started to notice many more little icy patches that gleamed silver on the black path. The paw prints lead to one of the gates of his moon garden .The tracks then scattered everywhere down each path through the low brush this normally wouldn't have bothered because he had walked this garden a million times or more and he knew how to get to the center from each of the eight gates but this entrance didn't look familiar as a matter of fact nothing looked familiar or real everything was black and white there wasn't even a hint of green on the low cut bushes or a hint of color anywhere to be seen . What bothered him more thought was the fact that somewhere deep in his gut something was telling him that he had to get to the center of the garden that there was something there that he needed to see or needed to do .

Looking around he had no idea which path to follow because of the scattered prints if he couldn't navigate it he could just step over the brush but looking into the center of the garden where a small pond usually was there was nothing . It looked like the twists and turns of the maze were going on forever. So he took the path that seemed to have the most paw prints on it perhaps if he didn't know the way the little odd bunnies would lead him to whatever it was he was supposed to find.

As he wound his way through the maze it seemed to engulf him and swallow him up . There was no sign of the other gates there wasn't a begging anymore and there wasn't an end. Again the need to hurry started to gnaw in the pit of his stomach so he followed his instincts because they were almost never wrong so he started to run. In the distance he saw another ice bunny so with a burst of speed he ran after the bunny and hoped it would lead him to whatever it was he was supposed to find.

The rabbit stopped abruptly causing him to skid he didn't know long or how fast he had been running but he did know that he was out a breath .Byakuya watched and the creature stand up on its hind legs it seemed to have a very sad expression on its face and for life of him he did not know why. Looking up from the rabbit he surveyed the world around him hoping that he could find a way out of this mess. However what he saw knocked all the air out of him he was steps away from the center of the garden but in the black and white misery there stood Rukia in her green and gold kimono and the sight of her nearly knocked him to the floor .

She was standing stark still her face was grey and her eyes were black and hollow her head was tilted to the side with an expression of confusion and hurt .If that didn't disturb him enough she wasn't a statue she was breathing and being held in place by the vine flowers he had loved so much. Night blooming jasmine had sprouted up at her feet and had found a way to wind its self around her. The black and white flower contrasted the radiance of the kimono making it stand out even brighter. The beautiful smelling vine wound its way up her legs to her torso it had already pinned one arm to her side though he couldn't see it completely he saw Sode-No Shirayuki 's tassel fluttering in the twists and turns of the beautiful prison. It seemed to have left her other arm where it was with hand out stretched as if she was trying to grab someone to save her . The vines hand wrapped around her arm and left tendrils of dripping flowers leaving only her finger tips uncovered. His princess was getting buried alive strangled slowly by all the beauty.

Looking at her in horror again her noticed that the little ice bunnies were hopping over bushes to the base of her feet trying to eat at and tear away the vines trying to free their little princess . Others were frantically clawing at the vines around her legs and her sword. They wanted her out of there as badly as he did . His beautiful Rukia he could not let this keep happening . Calling Senbonzakura forcing his blades to try and eat away at the vines as he himself started to tear at them trying to free her . Frantically he worked but the vines kept getting tighter and tighter and the look in her eyes got bleaker and bleaker

"No!" He shouted "I'm not letting you go!"

Byakuya started to thrash at the vines chanting "I won't let you go "over and over again.

Byakuya woke with a start never in his entire life had he ever had a dream like that he had never felt so helpless. Closing his eyes he took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself when it hit him abruptly, She was his Rukia she was his little princess somewhere long line she had stopped being face and became his little angel .

**I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it and sorry about such a late up date :/ but please R&R **

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	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry this up date has been so long in the making my life just got busy fast but I hope you all enjoy this chapter . It is a short one but I promise my next one will be longer .**

**As well I would like thank all of you who have taken the time to review it has meant the world to me **

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Rukia had opened up the windows tonight because the moon was full. She enjoyed watching the way its pale beams washed over the garden and turn everything a darker shade then what it would be during the day. As she sat in her chair she marveled at the uniqueness of it all, everything looked so clam and peaceful. The little pond looked cool and placid because all the fish had gone to sleep ,the little stream that bubbled into the pond even seemed to slow down to a gentle trickle. Everything felt so serene and calm in the silvery light of the moon. Everything seemed so restful in comparison to the day enough so that she could fall asleep listening the quiet stream and the light night noises.

Then she saw him walk into her line of sight so quietly , so very quietly. If she didn't see Byakuya she would have never known he was there. She didn't know how he could hide himself so well in the night and sometimes during the day .When she didn't think he wanted to found it seemed like he could turn down his spirit pressure. It was almost like he had a switch that he could turn it down to a dull hum so that it could blend in the noises of everyday life or every night for that matter.

She continued to watch him deviate from the normal path and start to walk along the side of the pond his foot steps making silent indents in the tall soft grass. He paused for a moment just seeming to look over the pond what she wouldn't have given to see the expression on his face. Even in the quiet of evenings like this he almost always looked a little lost. She knew this from passed experiences and in truth some nights she wanted to see something more something a little less lost.

"He is such a queer man." She thought silently to herself as she watched him continue to walk now towards the small stream. She never knew how he could look so lost sometimes when he put on such a cool and impassive demeanor during the day. He came off as hard as granite so untouchable and cold it made her seriously wonder who the man really was because it seemed like the man walking in the garden just wanted to get lost in a crowd.

As her walked along the stream she continued to watched in all honesty she couldn't help herself and she didn't know why. Perhaps it was because he was such a duality he always walked straight back with perfect posture, but when he took his walks in the garden he was less ridged and if were possible even more gracefully then he was during the day. He paused and looked up at the moon for a long moment , she wondered what he was thinking. She always wondered what he was thinking .

Leaning her head back against the window seal she let out a deep sigh and looked up at moon herself. She thought back to see if she had ever remembered him showing any emotion because even though she sat with him in the evenings for tea he was less tense, but the serious expression never left him face.

Settling into her chair she let out another restless sigh as she let her memories wander through the passed to see what she could glean. There was one time she remember as she went through her rolodex of memories there was one time she vaguely remembered him showing any sort of emotions . It was in the beginning when she first moved the manor when he first adopted her.

In the beginning she would get horrendous night terrors and would wake up shrieking it was only then that she might have remembered him looking sad. Because of the manner of those memories she wasn't sure if he was really sad or it was still her dream .For a long while she questioned those flashes , those signs of life she thought she saw from him. It would comfort her when she made herself believe he looked sad it meant that he actually felt something for her , about her. It made her feel a little less bleak when she would walk down the hallway and pass him . It made her feel like she wasn't a nuisance to him or worse yet a none entity.

She looked back down at him as he brushed his hands through some tall reeds and felt a slight tinge of sadness not for herself but more for him.

"How do you do it?" she murmured out loud.

How did he spend so many years being so removed from everything so isolated. If she herself where to do that she thought she would die without human affection to feel the love of her friends was the greatest feeling in the world . Still watching him she watched as his hori caught in the night breeze and billowed around him and he walked along as if nothing was happening around him. Just once she wished she had the courage to touch his hand and tell him he wasn't alone tell him there was someone hear who cared for him. She didn't know much about him but just the small act of kindness of him taking her in spoke volumes about him to her.

Most of all she wished to herself, as she stood and turned away from the window, she wished she had the courage to tell him thank you. They may never be friends she may never say more than that to him but it was sediment she wanted him to know.

One last time she turned back to the window.

"Thank you." She whispered as he moved out of sight.

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	9. Chapter 9

**Just a little piece of drabble I was writing and thought it would be a good addition to the story.**

**As always , enjoy**

Rukia took a deep breath in slowly letting the cool summer night air in exhaling slowly she looked up at the glittering stars in the sky smiling. At this moment she truly felt at peace with herself and the world around her. Closing her eyes she felt the soft warm breeze flow through the tall grass she was laying in letting its little leafy tendrils tickle her cheeks and nose. Exhaling again slowly she looked back up at the night sky she watched the warm glow of the moon bathe the dark green grass that was concealing her in its soft light.

"So calm." She thought to herself.

The cool newly crushed grass seeped into her light summer kimono giving her little goose bumps .As the breeze continued to make the grass and trees around her sway gently. This was one of the things she loved most about living in the Kuchiki estate .She could always find a safe secluded place in the garden to reflect on the day or the week.

The key word she thought to herself was safety, it had been so long since she had truly felt 'safe'. It had been decades since she had left the streets of the Rucongai but, her memories were still as vivid as the days that they had happened.

Shivering she wrapped her arms around herself no matter how hard she tried she would never forget what it was like just struggling to try to stay alive. In truth she was one of the lucky ones no one had ever beaten her to the brink of death , she had never been sold into prostitution or worse yet rapped. A slow tear started to trickle down her cheek as she involuntarily closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. That had been the way one of her dearest and only female friends had met her ultimate end . After seeing her small body left on the curb after the old man was done Rukia had dropped to her knee's and vomited until there was nothing left and in the back of her mind all she could think was that could have been me.

The tears started to flow faster and freer as more thoughts of not so long ago flooded through her mind. She had noticed that she never let these thoughts come unless she was sure she was in a place where no one could hurt her. No one could touch her in the outer edge of the Kuchiki garden when she was huddled deeply in the tall grass she was sure no one could even find her.

Letting the tears and the memories slowly trickle away she wiped her eyes and looked back up into the glittering sky. How long had it been since she had let herself do this? How long had it been since she had anything to really reflect and think back on?

Uncurling herself she smoothed out her kimono and let the night sink into her even more easing her body into another lull.

She had just celebrated her sixty fifth birthday. Hmming she smiled softly she felt so much older than sixty five some days she felt positively ancient in comparison to her adopted cousins . She mused for a moment and wondered what it would have been like to grow up like them without a care in the world other then what would happen tomorrow. It seemed to her , her female cousins floated through life on an ignorant cloud having the luxury of never having to look around or over the walls of there well pampered gardens. The boys were no different there only thoughts were that of what place they would eventually take in the Kuchiki family and how they could gain rank over the others so they would be the most favorable.

Tearing a small leaf off the stock of grass she smiled as she held it up to the moon light watching the rays dance around it as it flickered in the wind

A place in the family she thought to herself still studying the leaf . She really had no place in the family she was no one's real sister or aunt she was a no one in this huge clan she resided in.

"If I am no one." She thought out loud to herself. "Then I belong to no one."

With that thought she let go of the leaf that she had been playing with and watched it float away in the nights air.

"You belong with me." A deeper voice said as Byakuya stepped out of the darkness and kneeled down to her .

Brushing a piece of hair away from her face her looked down at her seriously. "You belong here with me."

His gentle voice came out as a matter of fact as he gazed deep into her eyes momentarily taking her breath away . It was not a sight she witnessed often, she was used to seeing them as hard and cold as steel as they bore holes into people's souls. She had never seen them as they were now ,as they were taking on soft color of thunderclouds right before it began to rain with absolutely no intimidation or cold indifference in them.

All she could do was look into the deep grey abyss because there really was nothing that she could say to refute that. There was nothing she wanted to refute ,if she were to belong to or with anyone she couldn't ask for a better person then the man kneeling in front of her. He was a good , kind and fair man with no evil or malice in his heart. Even if she never had the rest of his family it was a safe feeling knowing she belonged somewhere good , honest and true even if it was only in one modest estate.

" I belong to you?" the words came out soft and small as she tilted her head to the side as if to question him.

Byakuya nodded his head slowly but corrected her. " You belong with me , you do not belong to me. You are your own woman and belong only to yourself."

Taking in a deep breath and letting It out in a little puff he continues to crouch perfectly balanced. "However I would be honored if you chose." And he emphasized the word chose in his own quiet way " to belong here with me."

She searched his face for something , anything that would tell her the answer he wanted but, he gave away nothing. However hearing his words something warm and comforting unfurled deep inside of her, perhaps it was a small sense of acceptance perhaps belonging but, the seed was now planted.

"Thank you." The words she had always wanted to tell him finally escaped her lips.

Not saying a word he stroked another piece of hair away from her face that the wind had so stubbornly put back.

His expression softened a great deal as he studied her for more than a moment.

"Happy Birthday Rukia" Standing he walked away leaving her in her own little spot.

Something small lifted from her heart. Even though he had never said it before hand he actually had known it was her birthday . . . . What a queer man she thought to herself always turning over new leafs and surprising her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning: This maybe a little bit graphic and bloody . . **

It was a hot , dank summer night .The kind of night he hated the most because there was no reprieve from the heat .Even if he were to go take a cold shower when he came out it would feel like he had a taken a hot one. These types of night made his restless so instead of concentrating on the paper work that had not gotten done that day he impatiently tap his pen on the desk not realizing he had matched the little clicks to the rhythm of the clock .

Getting up from the desk he walked over to the window, and looked out it was odd the sun had set hours ago and Rukia had not come home nor had she sent word that she would be late . This disturbed his greatly because if anything he knew that Rukia was more than responsible about letting people know of her were a bout's.

A soft breeze trickled through the window bringing with it more dank air, and the cloying sent of night blooming jasmine . Making an irritated noise he walked back to his desk, so now not only was he hot but it felt like he had been doused in bath oil. Looking back up at the clock once more he mentally frowned and sat back down at his desk.

"Where are you ?" He wondered.

Sitting back in his desk he leaned back in his chair and realized for the exception of the clock on the wall the house was silent and still. He couldn't feel her steady little hum of energy that always seemed to emanate from her or the annoying high pitched voice of that damn Chappy bunny as she watched one of the plushs' movies for the umpteenth time. It was odd he hadn't realized how used to he had become to having her in the manor until this night . It just didn't feel right without her around, even though they rarely talked to each other her presence seemed to give him a peace of mind.

He heard the front door of the manor open causing him snap out of his thoughts and sit rigidly for a long moment only to feel Rukia's presence walk through the door. It wasn't small like it normally was when she came home late at night so she wouldn't disturb anyone. This time it was raging uncontrollably pulsating through the house like blood through viens. It felt erratic, and he didn't like it wasn't normal for her.

Standing he walked with long fluid strides down the halls going as fast as he dared without causing suspicion to the small amount of staff that was still awake. The pressure still seemed to course through the house quickly. He wondered why it hadn't slowed down or even stopped and as he rounded the corner to the main hall he saw why.

There she stood in the hall dripping with blood. So much so that it had matted and started to stiffen her black hair. There were a few small streaks of it that looked to have been sprayed on her cheek. It un nerved him the slashed parts of her hakima sleeves clung to her arms stiffly as the once oxygenated blood started turning brown. Her hands where stained red as was the white sash that had been tied around her waist. The rest of her body hadn't faired much better. She was a mass of dirt and blood.

Standing stark still her little chest was heaving in and out as she sucked in each gulp of air .She didn't even bother to try to hide it when he cleared his throat so she would look up at him . Lifting her chin she looked into his eyes with no trace of a child's innocence . Her expression was not of fear or defiance it was one of a warrior that had just done what she needed to do, and it took him off guard.

"Byakuya," the bloody statue spoke coolly. " I am sorry I did not leave a message telling you that I would be late coming home." Her voice was calm and smooth there was no trace of fear that she used to have in the past when she was covered in blood.

Fear and worry started to course through his veins like ice , but he nodded coolly to her showing no hint that he wanted to check over every part of her himself to make sure she had not been injured.

"If you are wondering." Her voice still calm as ever " I do not believe that I am injured in any way shape or form."

"Would you care to explain the reason you have come home covered in blood." His tone matched hers perfect and cool.

She nodded. "I would like to, but if Byakuya-sama would allow me to take a bath first so that I will not be dripping blood all over the floor.

He continued to look her over trying to keep his cool expression. "You may use my bath there is a harsh scrub in there that is good to get the dried blood off."

He watched her eyes close and her breath catch in her throat , the first sign of emotion that she had shown since he had first laid eyes on her. The knot in his stomach started to uncoil seeing that she had not frozen inside and out.

She went to bow to him.

"No." he stated sharply. He watched her eyes startle and color start to return to her cheeks as his words sank into her. Watching her reaction he let out another silent prayer of relief that she still could react and she had not lost herself in whatever had happened. "You have no need to bow to me." His voice softened. "Just go clean yourself and I shall meet you in my office when you are through."

With those words he watched her turn sharply and walk away from him. Turning away from her he left a sense of relief wash over him she was still hole what ever happened had not turned her heart to stone. Looking back at the main entry way coolly he shook his head ever so slightly . " This house has seen so much blood."

Turning he went against all of his better senses, and was going to knock on the door to his bath house to see if she was all right or if she needed a maid to come in and help her scrub herself off. Silently lifting his hand up to knock on the door he stopped just short of the wood. Inside he could hear her crying not the gut wrenching sobs that she had as a child , but still tears of a different fear.

Looking at the door for a long moment all he wanted to do was what he had done when she was young take her in his arms and whisper that everything was going to be okay that nothing would ever hurt her, and that she was safe now.

However she had ceased to be a little girl many years ago, and he would not risk her propriety for his rash behavior no matter how good the intentions where.

He moved back into his library where he had told her to meet him when she was through with her bath . He found he could not sit down so he just paced back and forth across the floor . The events of the evening thus far had made him uneasy. It wasn't just seeing her covered in blood he had seen her with blood on her in various degree's . It had always worried him , but tonight it frightened him. She was so small he knew she could defend herself and she was fare from fragile, but still it was the thought that something could happen to her.

There had been others things that had transpired through their conversation that un nerved him greatly . She had called him Byakuya and Byakuya –sama not Nii-sama. When his name so informally slipped from her lips he liked the way it sounded, and he should not have liked it. No matter what ,he vowed to always keep a distance between them. He thought it would be easier for both of them that way. However tonight seemed to undo everything, and now he thought to himself he was more afraid of her then she was of him.

"You are restless"

The voice came from the door way. Without turning around he nodded his head.

" I am."

The words came out simple and as devoid of emotion as humanly possible.

"I am sorry."

He heard her voice crack a little causing him to turn around. She was standing in the door way clean from all of the blood that had been dragging her down. Now in a simple summer night kimono she looked tired and worn down ,but unscathed he dare not got further to inspect her for any covered wounds on her arms or legs.

"There were two of them." She closed her eyes for a brief moment then opened them again. "Two hollows."

He merely nodded and gestured for her to come into the room.

He opened his mouth, but she wouldn't let him continue. " I was by the east gate training." She looked away in shame or embarrassment he didn't know. " I had no idea there would be anything there."

Turning her head to face him again he saw that she did not need him to talk just to listen to her .So he stood there quietly.

"There were two of them." She bit her lip and closed her eyes . Taking a deep breath in she reopened them. " I killed one." She whispered a silent tear dropped from her eye . " I couldn't kill the other."

"Have I failed?"

She looked up into his eyes and her sadness nearly broke him. " I am just trying to make you proud of me." She looked away as if she had just said the most embarrassing thing she could possibly think of.

His heart caved and he extended his hand. "Rukia." She looked up to him taking his hand, but going further leaning her head on his shoulder. He immediately stiffened at the contact until her felt her tears. Reaching up he stroked his hand along the back of her head in a comforting motion if he were going to break all the rules he might as well comfort her in the process. "You did not fail you are here to talk."

He felt her tremble like she did when she was young, but she was no longer holding a child . or an aunt , or cousin , or a wife . . . What was she?

**Just a little something I came up with to try to push the storyline along to a little more of a solid direction.**

**Please R&R and tell me what you think. Reviews = happy author so give your author some luv **

**And please no flames **


	11. Chapter 11

**So here I am again finally up dating this again I know it's been a while , but I would like to thank everyone who has been reading this and all of the wonderful comments that I have received it had really kept me motivated to keep on writing. So thank you , thank you , that you all. As well this story is a little more unconventional in comparison than the rest so I hope you like it.**

**Happy reading .**

Rukia laid in bed staring up at the ceiling watching the aqua lantern that she had hanging above her numbly . Shifting restlessly she let out a little huff of air. The events of her day where slowly unwinding through her thoughts as she was letting exhaustion take her over.

As she thought back she had no idea how she had kept herself together for so long. The first hollow seemed to have come out of nowhere. Thankfully she had heard it long before she saw it, it's shrill shrieks sounded like razor blades scraping across glass. As it came closer she could feel that it was hungry with a bottomless apatite and when it came into sight in the clearing all thought went out of her head . It looked like a hideously mutated crab muttering the words Hungry, Hungry , Hungry over and over and over again .

It was kill or be killed seeing as she was the only one there in the meadow ,and there was no backup it was just her alone she knew she had to kill it fast . She had never felt so small ,she had dealt with hollow by herself, but nothing as desperate as the first one that had come into the meadow.

Its words still rung in her ears like an ugly cadence but it was that cadence that turned her mind off and kicked her instincts in. What un nerved her the most was she turned off and put herself on auto pilot her body knew what to do. If she had put any thought into it she knew she would not have been able to handle it. Even though she knew what to do it was not a clean kill it was not something she could just take down with one slice she actually had to dismantle it piece by piece.

She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head she did not want to think about the pieces that felt to the floor with heavy thuds. Opening her eyes she rolled back onto her back looking back up at the lantern letting herself sink further into the bed.

She had no idea how she made it home all she knew was that she was cold that was the only thing she felt or knew was cold because nothing else felt real to her. Even walking into the foyer and seeing Nii-sama the most real thing in her life didn't stir anything in her. No fear, no intimidation he was just Kuchiki, Byakuya a man , a person from a faraway place.

She had truly turned herself off and it wasn't until she looked down into the hot water in bath turn from a light pink to a dark pink and watch the dried up blood roll off her skin did everything finally start to feel real again. So real that everything hit her so hard she had to scramble out of the tub and throw up in the nearest bucket. She didn't know how long she leaned over the wooden bucket but she did know that she was dry heaving and crying. Shivering she slipped back into the hot pool of water silently she ran her fingers through the water .The blood was real the harsh scrub scraping her skin raw was real and as the heat slowly sank into her body she finally let herself go and feel the real fear that had built up inside of her .When the damn was broken the tears started and there didn't look like there was any sign of them stopping anytime soon.

Seeing her Nii-sama after the bath brought a new sense of dread she had been so disrespectful to him by calling by his name not Nii-sama not even Byakuya- sama at first .The first thought that came to mind when she looked at him was just Byakuya because just Byakuya was a real solid man and she needed something real and solid. She shook her head as her thoughts raced through her head nothing seemed right nothing felt right and at this rate she would be getting no sleep.

Slipping silently out of bed she walked down the hall to the kitchen . Ever so quietly she turned on stove to start making a cup of tea before she went and dug around in one of the back cabinets for a clear glass bottle with a little glass dropper. Finding it she walked to the central table ,leaning against it she closed her eyes as she rolled the bottle of clear liquid in her hands. She really didn't need the tea all she really need was a glass of water and two drops of the liquid that Unahanna had given Byakuya when she was younger for her nightmares. She couldn't help but smile as she watched the pot start to steam. Byakuya never knew this but a few decades back Rukia over head it slipped from one of the servants mouths that there master had given her some medicine to help her sleep nightmare free when she first started living there.

She smiled softly she also over heard them say that there young master did not want to insult the little girl so he gave it to her in her tea at night before she went to bed. She also knew from idol gossip that was passed around when no one thought the masters of the house were not around that Byakuya had stayed up all night for many months just to make sure that she had slept soundly. He had never told this to her and she knew he never would. It just wasn't in him to, but it made her feel safer to know that he had always been there and in his own way he always cared for her. He didn't hate her like she thought she wasn't just a burden to him.

The water started to boil so Rukia made her tea the way he would make it for her so many years ago. It felt odd she had never done it for herself, but then again she never felt she had the need to until tonight. She just hoped she got the dosage right because she had grown a great deal since Byakuya had made it for her . Cleaning up her little mess she took her cup of cooling tea back to her room pausing only for a moment to see if she could see if she could sense if he was up or not. She couldn't feel a thing because she was getting sleepy ,she forgot how fast the liquid worked she could already feel her eyelids getting heavy.

Taking all the comfort she could get from the last few hours she slipped herself into bed and was fast asleep before she knew it.

**-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;**

The screams were so high pitch they woke her up she could feel the high frequency sound waves running though her body. Jumping up she looked around and couldn't figure out where she was or what she was doing there. The twilight was disorientating, looking around frantically she desperately tried to figure out where she was. Everything looked familiar, but nothing was in place, it looked like it should have been the same meadow she and Kaine trained in when he was alive. The shrill noise came again along with the sound of crashing tree's it was getting closer .She could not only feel the vibrations throughout her body , but through the very ground under her feet .

Her instincts were telling her to run, but she would be damned if she would run away from this hollow like she did the last one. This time she would kill it there would be no hesitation, no second thoughts, no fear .

Reaching for Sod-no-Shirayuki as she lunged forward her hand slid passed her hip to where her Zanpakuto should have been. Without thinking her hand rushed passed her other hip finding her blade she quickly unsheathed it. She would end this quickly. Moving swiftly through the tree's she followed the noise to its maker.

Winding through the tree's was the most grotesque hollow she had ever seen. She was used to seeing sharp teeth thrashing with sharp angular features made even sharper by the chalk white armor that was its skin. In its place she found a face that almost resembled something that could be considered human it's blunt face had large eyes that seemed to suck in all the color around it pulling everything around it into an angry black abyss. There was no sharp teeth that would cut through her sharply, but a jaw full of large blunt squares that ground against each other back and forth as it chewed. Red saliva bubbled and dripped passed its fish like lips as it let out its curdling shrieks. It moved like nothing she had ever seen its body was more like an exoskeleton with joints that held it together that caused it to jerk around as it moved . Despite its stiff cracking and popping it rushed at her with amazing speed .

Analyzing it she knew she had to catch a joint ,she had to hit a soft spot or it would all be over for her . letting out a bust of energy she tried to leap on the spirit particles around her, but as she let out a burst energy she came crashing to the ground falling to her knees . It rushed her again, this time she tried to dodge it by trying to shun –po again trying to get to its side , but found she could only run. She couldn't shun-po she couldn't move fast enough .All she could do was run and if she had to do that she would not go down without a fight.

Opening its mouth it rammed its head down at her , and if she had to she would cut its teeth out tooth by tooth, but she would not go down . This mantra ran through her head over and over again getting louder as the thing descended on her. Bracing herself with her zanpakuto above her head it collided with her . Through the popping of its joints she paid no attention to the fact that Sod-No-Shirayuki had snapped in half. The collision threw her back as few feet . As she skidded to a halt she gasped in horror as the zanpakuto crumbled to the ground.

Looking around franticly she did not know what to do she could not shun-po she had no zanpakuto ,and she wasn't about to bet her life that she still had kido. All she could do was run and hope that the tree's in the forest would slow it down enough for her to get away .

As she turned into the tree's she started to hear a wet gurgling laughing sound come out of its mouth. She shook her head to get the noise out of her ears so she did not stop. As she drown out the noise around her she zig zaged through the tree's as fast and as far as she could go. She could feel the distance start to grow between them but she didn't know how much longer she could keep it up . With each step her lungs burned , but she still didn't want to stop she wouldn't let it get her .

Her legs started to feel heavier with each step she took ,but she had to keep going she could not stop as she looked back to see if she could see it .However with that mistake her foot caught on something sending her tumbling to the ground . She couldn't do it anymore her mind was screaming for her body to stop her legs burned and her heart felt like it would pound out of her chest at any moment.

Pulling herself up slowly she looked around realizing she had fallen into the same clearing she had started in. It looked like the clearing she and Kaine had trained in letting out a soft frustrated cry she knew that he would not be here nor would he ever be again. She looked around the clearing frantically her heart stopped then lurched as she saw Byakuya standing perfectly still in the dead center.

"Nii-sama!" Her voice came out hoarse

The very sight of him made hope spring through her she was safe now he was here she would be okay he would make It stop he would make it all stop it was something she knew for certain. Running up to him she threw her arms around him then started to scream as she felt his body slip through her hands and spray around her in a plume of crimson . Shaking violently she felt his blood dripping over her . Looking down into her hands she watched him drip slowly over her thickly .In slow horror she heard something shrieking but she couldn't tell if it was herself or the hollow . The noise grew louder and louder in her ears as everything turned shades of red and black.

**_,_,_ **

Rukia jerked violently up from her bed only to feel her entire body being restrained . Panic swept over her causing her to start to shake violently she did not want to be trapped she did not want to be crushed . She didn't want to. . . she felt her mind start to whirl and spin out of control.

"Shuuush"

From the out skirts of her mind she heard the calming voice of her Nii-sama. Was this it ,was his the last voice her mind would let her hear.

"Rukia." She heard his strangely gentle voice again.

"it's okay baby , your okay, your safe ."

The soft voice continued , she could almost feel his arms around her holding her close to him. The rush of blood that was hammering in her ears started to subside . She would give in she had never heard him sound so gentle and it felt good hearing this voice would lull the fear away and she would sink into a beautiful oblivion.

She felt something rest on top of her head and let out a deep sigh of relief . Starting to shake again she opened her eyes afraid of what she might see, afraid this was going to be a sick joke . Whatever it was that had her was doing this to calm her into submission so she couldn't react . Opening her eyes ever so slowly ,she found herself looking into storm cloud grey pools. Refocusing her eyes she saw her Nii-sama face looking down at her gently.

Slow tears trickled down her face in relief , she was finally awake and he was here she was safe .Relaxing into his arms she watched as he stroked a tear gently away from her face with his thumb. Feeling his callused thumb bush across her cheek made her feel like she was home.

**;-;-;-;-;**

Byakuya wasn't asleep he had heard her slip around the house , stop at his bedroom door then walk quietly back to her room. The silence felt nice he was happy she didn't knock on the door because he wasn't sure what he was going to tell her. Go away because tonight had frightened him because holding her in his arms made his heart beat faster than it had in years. That she had broken and unspoken rule not to touch each other . He snorted a rule he came very close to breaking before she even did.

But then he heard it , it was a sound that he hadn't heard in years a sound he never hoped to hear again . She was whimpering in her sleep she was having a night terror again however at least she was not screaming . It didn't matter to him though she was in pain something he swore he would never let her experience again .

He closed his eyes and balled his fists because this wasn't like when she was younger he couldn't just sweep into her room and hold her. She was a grown woman and for him to walk in and hold her would look improper it would send the wrong message to the staff . He ran his hands through his now kenseikan free hair who was he really kidding he couldn't hold her because he was afraid, he didn't know what he was afraid of , but he knew he was.

The whimpering was more than he could take he could not and would not let her experience this much fear or pain especially not with the day that she had , had . He knew he would protect her from everything that tried to hurt her this was no exception .

Quickly he walked down the hall to her room and stepped in . Looking down at the sheets her watched her thrash around with tears in her eyes. He had seen this sight many times and every time he did his breath caught in his throat he had seen a great many things , but he had never see someone so strong look so helpless.

Take a deep breath and throwing his sanity to the wind he slid up onto her bed picking her up in his arms .He felt her start to shake so he did the only thing he could he held her tighter to him and whispered comforting nothings to her so she would not wake up violently. Looking down at her delicate beautiful face he wondered what the hell he was doing?

**Again I hope you all had as much fun reading this as I have enjoyed writing it , and as always give your author some luv and press the little button on the bottom to review **

**Reviews=happiness=motivation **


	12. Chapter 12

Rukia looked out the window as the sky started to take on a dull yellow color. Shifting from her position by the window seal she looked over to the ornate copper clock that sat on her bed stand and sighed quietly it wasn't even five yet and the sun was already starting to set. Winter was starting to close in on the Seireitei as the yellow and orange leaves that had fallen were now starting to turn brown and brittle . It had yet to snow but the bitter winds had started to whisper through the tree's and stir about its long dead contents on the ground through the streets and into doors that were no closed all the way.

Resting her arm on the window seal she lay her head down on them letting herself look out at the world in quiet wonder.

"Most people hate this time of year." She said quietly to herself . She pushed a stubborn piece of hair away from her face as she closed her eyes and let the breeze blow over her head and arms letting her lose hair scatter around her face and shoulders quickly undoing any work that she had previously done to it.

Opening her eyes slowly again she looked out at the world through strands of dark hair she fought the urge to cry. There had been nothing but talk throughout the house since the night she had killed the hollow , that the young princess had her nightmares again, she could not handle being both a Shinigami and a noble lady. Closing her eyes she buried her head in her arm those were just words they didn't hurt those most . What hurt the most was she thought she had found a friend in her Nii-sama finally a companion of sorts and after that night there was nothing.

Their nightly tea's had stopped , for a good two weeks after he held her to get her through her bad dream he did not come home he would stay at the office all night or work odd hours and she would not even see him in passing .

A silent tear slipped down the window seal , she had failed him.

A silent sob escaped her lips and quiet tears streamed down her cheeks, the sun was setting and the shadows where getting long in her room and if felt like her heart was breaking as the sun was setting . It was because of her he couldn't be happy , he couldn't find peace. A full sob escaped her lips as she pulled her knee's to her chest .

This time she wouldn't let the tears stop she wouldn't stuff them back like she had through the years. Burying her head in her knee's her chest wracked with sobs of all the unshed tears she wished she could have showed as she was trying to show him she was strong , she was capable , she was worthy of being a Kuchiki.

Lifting her head she looked to the door she could feel people moving around outside her door and a surge of anger ran through her. She could never be alone there was always someone listening through a peep hole or a door. She could never be alone to just cry because someone would always be there to tell her Nii-sama that she had something wrong with her .

"Go away." Anger coursed through her again and she threw the Chappy plush the was next to her at the door . "Leave me alone." She whispered. " let me cry without him knowing." She whipped her tears away with the sleeve of her kimono . " I'm not weak" she whispered " I'm not weak" she whispered again to herself. She wasn't weak she had held herself together for so long she knew almost no one could stay silent as long as she had .

There weren't many people that could walk away from killing their first love without shedding a tear none the less by their own hands. But she had walked away from it she had walked away from running Kaien through with her own sword. She had lost him lost one of the firs people that loved her and she walked away. She had walked away from Renji when she came to live at the manner . She had turned her back on her best friend she had turned her back on the only life she had ever known and she did not cry. Now she had lost her Nii-sama because she couldn't stand on her own because she had the damn nightmare's because she wasn't strong enough . Again she had lost what seemed like her only true friend left, but this time she would cry.

She sat in the dark and held herself rocking back and forth , she must look like she was insane but she couldn't help it. With everything that had happened it felt like her life had fallen apart in front of her . All of the violence and bloodshed that she had seen all of the killing and people walking away .

She felt like she had nothing left to her anymore. She couldn't trust the people who claimed to be her friends , She didn't know if they wanted to be her friend because they liked her or just wanted to get close to the Kuchiki name. She had no family her sister was dead ,but if her sister really cared she would have never abandoned her and left it up to someone else to look for her. Not even her feelings where her own any more , she wasn't allowed feelings . She wasn't allowed to feel how much the whispers of the family and the servants stung her or the fact that she knew most of them didn't want her there . Now she knew he didn't want her , he had left her he had walked away after the last bout she was too much for him and because of it she lost it all .

She had to bear it all straight back , chin up and cool smile because nothing could break the Kuchiki façade to the outside world.

She sat in the dark and stared at the wall because she didn't know what else to do .She couldn't go out after what she had just done after throwing her stuffed Chappy and yelling. A fresh set of tears fell as her maid knocked on her door telling her that dinner was ready .

Another lonely dinner she scoffed to herself , what was the point of eating alone why didn't they just bring her dinner up to her room . It would save her from the empty feeling of sitting at that large table by herself.

There was another knock at her door , this one was not as soft as the maids, but she couldn't bring herself to stand and open it to see who it was.

"Rukia." She heard a really real deep male voice on the other side.

"Rukia please come out." The voice was gentle .

She didn't want a gentle voice she did not want it . . . more tears blurred her vision.

"Please come to dinner with me."

Night had fully fallen so through her black and white water colored vision she stared at the door. It was Byakuya's voice .

A soft sob escaped her lips , He was home . She didn't know if she was supposed to be happy or sad . He was home , but was he only home because the servants sent word that the young princess was crying in her room hysterically.

She couldn't leave him standing at the door and she couldn't disobey him by not coming out so she would have to face him with a tear soaked face and hope that he would at least be kind to her.

"Coming Nii-sama" She said just loud enough for him to hear.

**Any who , hoped you all enjoyed the read I know it wasn't an actual dream but , it was what happened in between a slight deviation . So tell me what you all thing . Go ahead and press that little button because comments are always welcome and more than wanted.**

**P.S I know where my short coming in my grammar and spelling are so please be kind with that.**


	13. Chapter 13

**So as i looked over this again after i published it last night i realized , i really need to stop publishing things at two am when i have insomnia . So here it is again revised so that it makes scene .I know it has been a while so please don't throw any rotten fruit at me ;) but inspiration struck me and I had to write it down . I hope you all enjoy, again as most of the others this is a little a on the dark side .**

**And I am sorry it is a little short .**

He leaned against the window pain of his room. It was so dark that night ,so dark he could barely see three feet in front of him even in his own room. Letting out a soft sigh through his nose he looked out into the black nothingness that engulfed the garden, despite the lack of light he knew she was out there wondering around. He didn't need the light to see her because no matter where she was he could always feel her presence.

Letting his head rest against the wooden board he crossed his arms over his chest pulling his night kimono closer around him . The night was not in particularly cold , but for some reason he needed the little extra little bit of warmth , that extra little bit of reassurance.

Looking out into the inky night he involuntarily shivered as he let his thoughts progress. In large crowed he always knew where she was at it was almost second nature for him to seek her out if he could not see her. He could feel her in a fire storm if he had too , and he hoped to god he never would.

Her tiny presence gave him reassurance that no matter what at the end of the day when everything was said and done he could still come home and find her warm little presence skittering around the manor making everything just a little bit more cheerful. In a world full of darkness, blood and despair he had come to the conclusion that she had become his little source of light , his little piece of humanity in the chaos.

Pursing his lips together he turned is head away from the window as his heart constricted it had been a month since she had, had the night terror. For a month solid he had felt her presence at night wondering around the grounds of the manor until the small hours of the morning. She was not letting herself sleep he could see it every morning when he looked into her eyes . The first week It had not been so pronounced, maybe there might have been some dark circles under her eyes but nothing noticeable.

He thought it would not last long he thought it would last at least a week at most that it would be okay that she return to herself. The week had come and gone and he still felt her wondering around aimlessly , and in the morning he watched as the bags started to form under her eyes in deep blue black rings.

He looked back into the darkness but his chest still felt tight if not tighter as it constricted. Around the fourth week at about three am he couldn't feel her move around anymore and he thought that she had finally decided that she could rest. His relief was short lived , not an hour after he felt her sleeping there was a soft knocking at his door. One of the maids had come to inform him that Lady Rukia had searched the herb cabinet and drugged herself to sleep using enough of It to put a man three times her size to sleep and if he wanted her to call a doctor.

Having known enough about the concoction she had made himself he knew she wasn't going to die she would just sleep dreamlessly for hopefully a long time so he sent the maid away and told her to call for him if in ten hours she did not wake up.

He had known the tea that she had made very well . After he was forced to execute one of his servants for the first time he had not been able to close his eyes without seeing the look in the man's eyes as kitana made contact with his neck. The man had been twice Byakuya's age , he would have been right around his own fathers age if his father had still been alive. Executions was not something that was done in the Kuchiki house. It was the first one that had been done since grandfather was his age, but it was something in this case that had to be done. The family could over look a shortage here or there in the food supply , but this man had been plotting with one of the other noble families to kill a lower member of his house hold and make it look like murder with in the family so that there would start to become a split in the family. Together they stood strong , divided they would have fallen.

This was the first act his grandfather had made him do as he positioned him to become head of house hold. It was to prove that he was indeed someone to be respected ,and feared. and it worked. that single act sent a shock waves throughout all four high households. It sent a message that his family was one of great power above the law and a force to be reckoned with, that he was a force to be reckoned with.

To this day he could still feel the way the blade felt as it sliced through the man's skin and the noise his head made as it rolled across the ground and to his feet. He was one hundred and young it had made him sick to his stomach and after that afternoon and many sleepless nights he needed to find something that help him find some reprieve. He had used it one time and one time only after that day ,and that was the night after Hisanna had been laid to rest.

Fighting back a bitter taste in his mouth he swallowed , and now his Rukia had to use it . The first time it hadn't been bad he had hoped that she would find rest and her now blood shot eyes would return to a normal color .

It hadn't as time went on she was still restless and more and more frequently she was using the mixture to find maybe an hour of reprieve from the hell that she was battling with in herself. As the nights continued he was at a loss as to what to do for her . She was not sleeping , she was barley eating and he skin tone had taken on the color of chalk.

He knew what he wanted to do , he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to let her pour her heart out to him, to let go of the secret hell that she had been living for so many years .

He snorted self deprecatingly, but how could he expect her to do that if he himself had never been willing to do the same for her?

**Any who show your author some luv and read and review **


	14. Chapter 14

Okay let me just start this little note with an im sorry . This year has been completely nuts for me . I was in fact getting married what would have been Dec 1st and a few months before the wedding my world imploded when the groom called the wedding off after a small altercation . So I spent the first half of my year planning a wedding and the third quarter dismantling it . ( I have a wedding dress for sale if anyone is interested)

Now on to my stories they are not discontinued a slight hiatus maybe it's been so long since I have written anything im just trying to get the hang of things again,

so please bear with me

I might even put up some none mushy lovy dovy stuff only because I am still a little bitter , and if you guys could support me in reading and reviewing those too I would greatly appreciate it .

**Changing of the Guard** is a story that I am going to start to update regularly basically because I love that story it's my baby

**We All Want the Same Thing** may take me alittle longer to get back into

And as for **What Dreams May Come** well you know I up that when inspiration hits, but if anyone is interested in me putting up another chap send me a PM

Thank you guys so much for the support you have given in my writing

blackbubbledancer


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